Been away for awhile. going to start doing work again on here promise got some stuff in motion at the moment actually.

Can people just stop feeling?
Cos these days I just really don't feel anything. I'm not happy, I'm not sad, I don't feel like I love my boyfriend any more, sure i'd probly be a little pissed off if he left me but actually I don't really care.

I've only just realised that I've become a bitch of a human being.
My best friend doesn't want to talk to me cos I didn't want to see her when she came down to spend new years with me.
My collegues hate me cos I always point out there fuck ups.
I'm generally a cunt to everyone I meet.
And the truth of it all is that even though I've realised it and know that I could change I don't really want to, I don't care that i've driven everyone away and that for some weird reason my boyfriend stays with me even though i give him shit constantly and well treat him like an idiot and something I trod in.

I'm determined you see.
I know what I want and I know how I'm going to get it and I'm not going to let anyone get in my way or screw things up for me.

The dream is worth everything and I'll do anything to get it.

even if it means loosing touch with reality.

My parents don't even know that I drive without a license, I lie to them constantly and they believe everything I say.

Just like my boyfriend, friends and well everyone else.

Truth is though, I hurt people, I walk all over people and I couldn't care less.